Trial Separation - Why Bother?

I have never heard of anything more pathetic during my years of family court experience than the term "Trial Separation".

It is defined as the formal status of a couple living apart while trying to decide whether to reconcile or divorce. Hogwash.. to me the definition is clear: One bozo allowing another one to call the shots, to test the waters as a single person, while bozo waits in the wings to see if the other will change their mind.

People say "well it is reversible". Is it? Can you tell a partner " I am thinking of dumping you but wanna test it out first " and then if you don't like the taste you can just pretend it never happened? That is laughable.

If your partner ever mentions trial separation then you need to see it for what it is - a red flag that your marriage is pretty much done. The initiator of such a process is putting all their ducks in a row. He/she will see what they need to live on their own - how they have to maneuver through a separation to get the most bang for their buck. And if they come to the realization that life is harder on their own they will rethink their stance and ask you for another shot. I would rather not be used as a crutch for someone who prefers to maintain a standard of living rather than honestly support the vows of marriage.

I will never forget the day hubby ran into his soon-to-be ex in the family court parking lot. She made a nasty comment and his reply was that he could not wait for this to be over and the divorce final. Her mouth dropped open and she yelled "Divorce?!! Divorce?! This was to be a trial separation!!" His reply was classic: " I tried, I liked it. See you in court". And he hasn't looked back since.